Trust is an enormous word if you want to live a happy, fulfilling, and productive life. As much as it means to relationships, trust should be an eighteen-syllable word. But that one syllable, those five letters, represent the foundation upon which relationships must be based, whether those relationships be one-on-one, with a team, in a business, or in a family.
Trust is developed through open and honest communication and, once established, creates a shared vision for a common goal. Established trust among a group of individuals bolsters a feeling of confidence that only comes in knowing that you are not alone. In basketball, if you are defending an offensive player on the wing and that player is able to drive past you, you have two choices: one, you can foul that player, or two, you can trust that your teammate will be there to help play defense. On our teams, we prefer the latter. As a result of this trust, you play defense with tenacious abandon. Trust brings you together and makes everyone more confident.
Trusting relationships serve as a reminder that you are not doing it alone, that someone else believes in you and that you can believe in them. If you are wondering whether or not you can "get it done" and someone you trust tells you that they believe in you—that is a powerful thing. Will you always get it done? No, but you certainly have a better chance when you possess the confidence that comes with knowing that you are not doing it alone.
Part of building trusting relationships is confrontation. I do not define confrontation as something negative; it simply means meeting the truth, head-on. In my relationships, I want you to believe me when I tell you that you are great and I want you to believe me when I tell you that you are not working hard enough. Both of these are confrontations, but, because we trust each other, we know that our confrontations are truthful. No time is wasted trying to decipher meaning or understand motive. The confrontation, whether the subject is positive or negative, can immediately inspire action producing a positive result.
At least once a season, I turn to one of my players in the locker room and ask them, "Son, are two better than one?" He'll look back at me, afraid to give the simple answer, thinking I will use the opportunity to goof on him. "Come on," I say, "it's a simple question. Are two better than one?" Begrudgingly, he will eventually respond, "Yes, Coach, of course two is better than one." "Not necessarily," I reply. "Two are better than one only if two can act as one." Establishing trust among a team allows you to act as one.
Trust is a confident belief in your team, a person in your life, or a member of your family. Essentially, it means, "I have your back." I have yours and I believe that you have mine. Trust builds confidence, and with confidence, you and your team have a much greater chance of achieving at a high level.
Trust in Action
Elton Brand is a Los Angeles Clipper, an NBA All-Star, and a member of the United States National Team. In 1998, he had just completed his freshman year at Duke, in which we had had a great season, losing in the NCAA Regional championship game to the University of Kentucky. At the end of each season, many of the great players in college basketball are pursued by the NBA to forgo the rest of their college career and enter their name in the NBA draft.
In discussing his predicted position in the draft, Elton and I came to the conclusion that it would be better for him to come back for his sophomore year, continue his education, become a better player, and improve his position for the 1999 draft.
On the last day that an undergraduate was permitted to turn in his name for the draft, I received a phone call from Elton. Because the school year had ended, he was already at home in New York. Through his tears, he explained to me that he was being pressured by many around him to enter the NBA draft and that, based on our previous discussion, this was not what he wanted to do. Instead of faltering under the pressure, Elton trusted me enough to let me know that he was feeling pulled in another direction and to ask for my guidance. In the face of a personal crisis, he came to me because we had established a basis of trust and he knew that I wanted what was best for him. Should he do what other people were asking him to do or should he do what he believed was right for him?
By the end of the day, Elton Brand was still a Duke Blue Devil. He felt strong enough to say no to the NBA. To me, he just said, "Thanks, Coach."
That summer, Elton became a key member of the United States Goodwill Basketball Team, enhancing both his skills and his reputation. Before the start of the 1998-99 season, it was predicted by many that he would be selected as the National Player of the Year.
Elton started the year playing fairly well, but not to the level that both he and I knew he could. I asked him to meet with me individually in my office, and we had a very serious talk in which I told him that he would not be in the starting lineup for our next two games. The morning after our conversation, Elton knocked on my office door, stuck his head in, and said, "Coach, you're right. And we won't have to have this talk in the future." Again, he trusted me.
At the end of the 1999 season, Elton was named National Player of the Year and our team had the opportunity to play in the National Championship game. This time, after the season, he and I, together with his mother, made the decision that it was the right time for him to put his name into the NBA draft. Elton became the number one overall pick in the 1999 NBA draft. He is now the go-to guy for the Los Angeles Clippers and is financially secure for the rest of his life. If you asked Elton Brand, he would tell you: trust pays off.