*File Description: Glossary of Computer Terms* 640K barrier: the finish line in a mega-marathon access time: foreplay analog: what Ana tosses into the fire assembly language: put tab A into slot B, then put tab C... audit trail: what the IRS does Bandwidth: limited by the size of the stage Battery Backup: going in reverse in a golf cart BBS: t-telling t-tall s-stories benchmark: what happens when your saw hits the bench broadband: an all female rock group cache memory: remembering how much you spent carrier detect: "I see the mail man!" CASE: 24 bottles Control Character: prison guard conventional memory: remembering what you did at COMDEX copy protection: wearing a rubber copyright: vs. copy wrong cursor: a garbage mouth daisy chain: a dog's leash DAT: the opposite of DIS deadly embrace: making love to King Kong delimiter: some who says, "Stop, that's enough" density: how to measure IQs of blondes dhrystones: the stones that were tossed out of the water DIP switch: how my sister gets a new boy friend dot pitch: "Dorothy winds ups, and delivers a knuckle ball" EDCDIC: similar to herpes EMS: happens just before PMS end user: a prisoner's cell mate escape sequence: Distract guard. Dig tunnel. Cut throw fence... Ethernet: used to catch Ether fixed disk: a broken disk that comes back from the shop flash EPROM: what they have on 90210 (Flashy Proms) flat bed scanner: a hooker looking for loose change flat file: a file with all the air out of it full duplex: a 2-family house with 16 occupants groupware: clothes swapping hacker: a heavy smoker half-height drive: a midget's sexual capacity hand scanner: singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings heap: what I drive high density diskette: a very stupid floppy home computer: what you tell your computer when it follows you hypertext: text on amphetamines ink jet: a plan used for sky writing integrated circuit: a circuit with black & white components joystick: (requires little explanation) local bus: stops at every intersection lost chains: euphoria experienced by the recently divorced low-level language: for basement programmers high-level language: for penthouse programmers machine dependency: an affliction of machine users mag tape: tape used on the wheels of cars mainframe: akin to "main squeeze" main memory: remembering where the water line is math coprocessor: the person you cheated from in math class megaflop: the worst play you ever saw minicomputer: the pier to Mickey's computer modem: what the gardener did to the lawns multi-sync: can be sunk more than once native mode: head hunting on-line: where the birds sit overlay: chickens making too many eggs pentium: the thing that swings back-and-forth on a clock plotter: a deceitful person postscript: grafitti on a pole protected memory: remembering to wear a condom record locking: what you do to your Beetle White Album right justified: vs. wrongly justified software piracy: stealing a ship's program spreadsheet: a hooker's foreplay streaming tape: party decorations subroutine: not quite routine surge protector: a condom token ring: a group of people passing the bong trackball: what sprinters and runners often get twisted pair: tubes tied word wrap: black music worksheet: a prostitutes office Ymodem: because, modem