WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
     
     Plato:
     For the greater good.
     
     Karl Marx:
     It was a historical inevitability.
     
     Oliver North:
     National Security was at stake.
     
     Albert Einstein:
     Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken 
     depends upon your frame of reference.
     
     Darwin:
     It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
     
     Werner Heisenberg:
     We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was 
     moving very fast.
     
     Saddam Hussein:
     This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in 
     dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
     
     Jack Nicholson:
     'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
     
     Ronald Reagan:
     I forget.
     
     Mark Twain:
     The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
     
     Captain James T. Kirk:
     To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
     
     Salvador Dali:
     Fish.
     
     McKinsey Consultant:
     Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its 
     dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant 
     challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the 
     newly competitive market. 
     
     McKinsey , in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the 
     chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and 
     implementation processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),  
     McKinsey helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge 
     capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and 
     technology in support of its overall strategy within a program 
     management framework.
     
     McKinsey convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best 
     chickens along with McKinsey consultants with deep skills in the 
     transportation industry to engage in a two-day off-site in order to
     leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and 
     to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the 
     implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and 
     implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of 
     poultry cross-median processes.
     
     The meeting was held a luxury resort enabling and creating an 
     impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, 
     and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and 
     aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was 
     conducive towards the creation of a total business integration 
     solution.
     
     McKinsey & Company helped the chicken change to become more 
     successful.
     
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     Why God never got a Ph.D
     
     1. He had only one major publication
     
     2. It was in Hebrew
     
     3. It had no references
     
     4. Some even doubt he wrote it
     
     5. It may be true that he created the world, but what had he done since 
     then?
     
     6. The scientific community had had a hard time replicating his 
     results
     
     7. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human 
     subjects
     
     8. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the 
     subjects
     
     9. When subjects didn't behave as he predicted, he deleted them from his 
     sample
     
     10. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book
     
     11. Some say he had his son teach the class
     
     12. He kicked out his first two students for learning
     
     13. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed his 
     tests
     
     14. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on 
     mountaintop