A man owned a museum, and he lived up above it. The museum was full of all the
priceless what-not you expect to find in a museum. Well, one day, a would-be
burglar hid in a suit of armor until late at night when everyone was gone and
the owner went to bed. As the crook made his way to the jewels, the clanking
and jingling of the armor he was still wearing woke the owner up. When Mr.
Owner clicked the light on, the crook, decided to play ghost, and raised his
arms and screamed "yaaaaaaaah!" The owner wasn't exactly fooled. I think he
pushed the crook over on his back, where he lay like a june bug until the
cops showed.

A man was on trial for the robbery of another man's house. The defendant had
decided to defend himself without the help of an attourney. He had the man
whose house and been robbed on the stand, and was grilling him. The defendant
asked something like "And just what were you doing the night of the 17th when I
was robbing your house?" I think the judge threw the case out when he stopped
laughing.

        John Smith was locking up his martial arts academy, still in his robe
and black belt.  A mugger approached him from behind, pulled a knife and
demanded money.  The mugger is reported in serious, but improving
condition in the local hospital.

This reminds me of a story I heard on KPWR in Los Angeles.
     It seems this guy was trying to rob a Ready Teller cash machine at a bank.
He couldn't figure out how to get to the money, so he decided to tear off
the front of the machine by tying a rope to it and attaching the other end
to his car.  He hit the gas, the Ready Teller machine didn't give, and the
guy's rear bumper ripped clean off.  He got scared because of the commotion
he had caused and drove off.....leaving his bumber, with license plate
attached, behind.  The plate was promptly traced and he was apprehended
shortly thereafter.

We had a case in Stockholm where a pub was broken into and several bottles of
spirits removed allong with all the chips from the roulette table.
The thieves were caught the next day when they came back and tried to cash the
chips in. ( The policeman handling the arrest said that this was pretty common
in Stockholm).

----------------------------------------------------

Originally from the San Jose Mercury news, "News of the Weird".

(a) Portsmouth, R.I.  Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of
    vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police
    inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine
    and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins.
(b) Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for
    robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel.  She was armed with only an
    electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.
(c) The Ann Abort News crime column reported that a man walked into
    a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and
    demanded cash.  The clerk turned him down because he said he
    couldn't open the cash register without a food order.  When the man
    ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
    breakfast.  The man, frustrated, walked away.
(d) David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
    allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest
    four bags of money.  It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES,
    weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his
    getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
(e) The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man
    suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have
    done it *because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.*
    Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.
(f) Drug-possession defendant Christopher so-and-so, on trial in March
    in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.
    The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a
    "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.  Nonsense,
    said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that
    day in court.  He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The
    judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so
    hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.