A norm's-eye view

"What's goin' on, Mr. Peterson?"
 "No, Woody, the question is what's goin' *in* Mr. Peterson."

"Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
 "With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."

"What's new, Normie?"
 "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer."

"What do you say, Norm?"
 "Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."

"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
 "Like a baby treats a diaper."

"Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
 "No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

"Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?"
 "A little early, isn't it Woody?"
 "For a beer?"
 "No, for stupid questions."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
 "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
 "I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."

"Beer, Norm?"
 "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
 "Another layer for the winter, Wood."

"Whatcha up to Norm?"
 "My ideal weight, if I were eleven feet tall."

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
 "Poor."
 "I'm sorry to hear that."
 "No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you, Norm?"
 "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
 "Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
 "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."

"What's the story, Norm?"
 "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"Women.  Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."